My Original Plan: A Mom’s Intervention!

Even as a young boy, thoughts about being a priest filled my mind. The influence of priests, a Catholic school education, and a faith-filled family contributed heavily to my thought process. I really never seriously considered any other vocation because I felt a strong call to the priesthood at an early age. Not every priest felt the call that early. For me, it was the only thing I really ever wanted to do. It was actually in the fifth grade at Our Lady of Mount Carmel School in Astoria when I became an altar server. I came to know the priests of the parish and what they did other than celebrating Mass in the morning. I liked what I witnessed and wanted to follow their example. They were parish priests who belonged to the Diocese of Brooklyn, which includes both Brooklyn and Queens.

However, in the fall of my eighth grade, I had a “bright idea” to become a religious order priest! There are many religious orders in the church, but I was thinking about becoming a member of the Salesian Society, an order founded by St. John Bosco (1815-1888) whose primary work is the education of young boys in high schools. Some of them do parish work or missionary work, but the majority of them teach in Salesian-run high schools! I was introduced to the Salesians (who were named after Saint Francis de Sales) by my eldest brother Charlie, who had become a Salesian brother in 1957. They were sponsoring a weekend retreat for eighth graders, who might be interested in learning about the Salesians. I signed up for it. It was to be held in their retreat house.

I remember having to meet the bus on the New Jersey side of the George Washington Bridge on a late Friday afternoon to meet the other boys who had signed up for the weekend “getaway” from their respective schools and parishes. As I recall, there were about 20 to 25 of us who attended. I remember my dad driving me to the bus location, and there I boarded the bus, and we headed up to a beautiful location in West Haverstraw, New York. I also remember that I had a great weekend with talks, sports, time for prayer, shared meals, and snacks. (I had also attended summer camps run by the Salesians).

Here’s the outcome: I went home after the weekend and told my mom that I was seriously considering joining the Salesians. She knew who they were and what they did, so I didn’t have to explain. I was rather shocked and perplexed when she said, “Absolutely NO!” I questioned why? She said their seminary for high school students would require me to live far away from home. She thought that I needed to grow up and mature before I moved away from home. She knew that it would be quite a sheltered life, and she wanted me to have more life experience before I would “leave the nest.” To this day, I thank my mom for her wise and prudent decision. My dad agreed with her, so the answer was pretty clear in my mind. Stay at home, apply to Cathedral Prep, become a diocesan priest, and the rest is history!

I often wondered where life could have taken me if I had become a Salesian priest. But that was not His plan for me. I’m grateful to God for the blessing of having been a Diocesan priest for 55 years and a Bishop for the last 14 years! To any young man discerning the call to the priesthood … Listen to God’s invitation, have the courage to follow His plan for you, and trust that if He is truly calling you, then the voices of other people – family – friends- and mentors will be there to encourage you and support you.