The Mentoring Role: A Tremendous Privilege!

A bishop is called to be a father, a brother, and a friend to the priests he serves! These three roles are unique, but at times they overlap. Looking back on my almost 55 years of priesthood and nearly 14 years as a Bishop, the role of priest friend has been such an important part of my life. I’ve often said that only another priest – especially a priest who is a dear friend -can truly understand what his priest friend is experiencing. Family is vitally important if a priest is blessed to still have members of his family to support him. Lay friends are also crucially important because they can help the priest from their own life experiences. But only another priest can fully understand a priest because he has been through the same formation, ministerial, and Apostolic experiences. The commonly cited “Indian” proverb fits here well: “Never judge another man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.” Often attributed to Native American wisdom, this phrase highlights the need to know what another person is experiencing to understand where they are coming from in order to offer true and effective guidance. I know that I have been blessed with good and solid priest friends in my life. I only hope that I have been a good priest friend to them.

But there is another role that has been part of my life, especially as a priest and Bishop. It is the role of the father. Even though people have called me “father” since the day of my priestly ordination, I have understood the concept of being a true father figure in the lives of the young people whom I’ve been privileged to work with. As a human father gives advice and connects with his children, so also a priest or a bishop has the privilege of offering his wisdom and guidance to young parishioners, young adults whom he encounters, and even to seminarians who are preparing for the priesthood.

The concept of fatherhood is not limited only to biological fatherhood. There is a real sense of fatherhood that all men, not only priests, experience as they mentor or guide young people. Mentoring is a serious responsibility because a mentor leads, first and foremost, by example. Just as human fatherhood does not end on the biological level, so also the mentoring role goes much deeper, and the relationship between mentor and mentee provides a forum for advice and guidance to be transmitted. What a tremendous privilege it has been to mentor those discerning their vocations, newly ordained priests, newly appointed pastors, and many young people of high school and college age. Occasionally, I get feedback from them on how much they appreciated the time and effort spent in cultivating relationships of trust, honesty, and openness to listening, learning, and growing!

When I think of the mentees who have been part of my life, I can only give thanks and praise to God for that privileged mentoring experience and ask God to continue to bless them wherever they may be. Hopefully, they are praying for me!